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The current year represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This means choosing someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes couples who forgo having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your decision to date a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {